Long ago in a distant land

Notes:

I, Colbert, the shapeshifting Master of Cuckoldry, unleashed an unspeakable SCOOP! But a foolish President Trump, wielding TWO SCOOPS, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final lick was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my SCOOP is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is ONE SCOOP!