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People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes iA Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m. Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." cetanes bedwig-dord Thats the weirdest crotc sentence i've read all month his f------ post singlehandedly ruined my life You don't realy appreciate how f------ great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars ail at wring sex DO A BARREL ROLL Forget what his d--- ts dong, what are her breasts dong? How do a par of at sacks attached to a nbcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man's mouth and then his wanger immediately ater? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacen? is your weiner detachable, is that ? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schiong-to-t---- roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world's most faled attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this? HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW.WHAT AND WE HAD SEX Like, in My Immortal, it's at least impled he knows where he's supposed to put it. Its very simpiste, lkea-style sex isert tab A rno slot B> but tat's better than tis ague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts Soyes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better OK so Im sure people are aware of this, but just in case youre not there is an annual award given every year by the Literary Review for bad sex scenes in ficbion The above entry (sorry) by Morissey won this ilustrious award in 2015 (and yes, he threw a Morrissey wins bad sex award for love scenes in debut novel List of the Lost Singer's description of a giegling snowball of fuill-figured copulation' helped him ain dubious victory The best part of this is that the 2016 nominations were just announced, and OH BOY there are some absolute crackers this year The Butcher's Hook by Janet Ellis when his hand goes to my breasts, myfeet are envious, I slide my hands down his back, all along his spine, rutted with bone like mud ridoes in a dry field, to the audacious sweill below His finger is inside me, his thoomb circing, and I spi like grain from a bucket. He is panting, still runming his race.I laigh at the incongruous sine of him, sticking to his stomach and escaping from the springing hair below The Tobacconist by Robert Seethaler He closed his eyes and heard himself make a gurgling sound. And as his trousers slipped down his legs all the burdens ofhis life to date seemed to Sal away from mhe tipped back his head and faced up into the darkness beneath the celing, and for one blessed moment he felr as ihe could understand the things f this world in all their immesuable beauty.How strange they are, he thought, life and all of these things.Then he felt Aneaka slide down before him to the floor, Jelt her hands grab his naked buttocks and draw him to her. "Come, sony boyf he heard her whisper, and with a smile he let go. A Doubter's Almanac by Ethan Canin The act inself was fervent. Like a brisk temnis game or a summer track meet, something performed in daylight between competitors. The cheap mattress bounced. She liked to do it more than once, and he was usually able to comply Bourbon ws is gasoline. Between sessions, he poured it at the counter while she lay panting on the sheets Sweat burnished her body. The lean neck. The surprisingly fiall breasts. He would down another glass and return And in case anyone is interested, these are some of the entries that Momissey beat to the top prize last year Book of Numbers by Joshua Cohen Her mouth was intensely ovoid, an almond mouth, of citrus crescents And under that sling, her breasts were like young fawns, sheep frolicking in hyssop- Psalms were about to pour out of me. Voust "Te vais me undressed, clothes olf, unhaballé, déshab Before, During, After by Richard Bausch She reached up and brought him to her, then rolled over on top of him and began softly to move down. When she took him, still a little flaocid, into her mouth, he moaned, Oh, lover. She felt him harden, and she tightened her lips and pulled and then ran her tongue slow along the shaft, and then straightened and straddled him, guiding him into her, sinking and rising on him, head back, hands gripping his shoulders. It went on. It was very good. Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff The party was loud. She pushed him back on the sandy tar paper, and he was looking up at her face in the glow, and she lifted her skirt and moved the crotch of her underwear aside, and Lotto, who was always ready, who was ready at the most abstract imaginings of a girl-footprints of a sandpiper like a crotch, gallons of milk evoking boobs-was not ready at this oh-so-abrupt beginning It didnt matter. Gwennie shoved him in though she was dry. He shut his eyes and thought of mangoes, split papayas, fruits tart and sweet and dripping with juice, and then it was off, and he groaned and his whole body turned sweet agree We are spoit by tanfiction We arel And yet pretentious eltist woukd ALWAYS mock tanfic tion and Sc writers despte the fact that the writng in fanfiction is a milion times better than these so-called real" writer 40,322 motes Dec sth, 2016

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People Can’t Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel


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