Know Your Meme
Segur People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m In His Novel BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone Thats the weirdest erotic sentence ve read al month this tucking post singlehandedly ruined my Ite You don't realy apprecia ho-tucking great fan se isutan itonas to writing sex umss you stop to recognise how Seno Lterary Stars twi凯urtng 5ex emble adid he just say tha his d--- smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body 0ecept you know her vagna? #ike MIMA SMACK YOU IN TE CHEEK MPAA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDERINIMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF pwhat your d--- doing77 ow do you think sex works momissey?? Forget what his d--- is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of at sacks atached to a ribcage barrel-roil anywhere? Ler alone across a man's mouth and then his wanger mmediately ter? Si'nty your mum ao dong- adacon? your woner detachable is that t? Do you have your joysek clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-t oll mmediately after a kiss and than proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the wond, most taled attempt酖erotic massage??? How DO YOU THINK Are the sex scenes in My Immortal beter than this? HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX 녜*' in My immortal, t's at least impled knows where he's supposed to put it. Its very simplistic, lkes-style sex (Iinsert tab A into sot B) but that's beter than this vague useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and moverment of body parts So yes, the sex in My immortal is, in this sense. Datar. OK so lm sure people are aware of this but just in case you re nat there is an annual award given every year by the Literary Review for bad sex scenes in fetion. The abave entry (sory) by Miarrissey wan this ustious award in 2015 land yes he threw massive tantrum about it because he's Momsseyjc Morrissey wins bad sex award for love scenes in debut novel List of the Lost inger's description of a igling snowball of full figured copulation helped him victory The best part of this is ha the 2016 nominations were just announced, and CH BOY, there are this year The Butcher's Hook by Janet Ellis When is hand goes to my breasts, y feet are envious Islide my hands down hìs back, allaling his平ine, ranted with bone like mud rides iadryM1d,to the oudacios swell belowis ier inside me, his thomb circling and I sp e grain from a bucket. He is panting, stil unning is ace.Iagh at the ncongruous slze of im, stickingr to is stomack and escaping rom the springing hair below The Tobacconist by Robert Seethaler He closed his eyes and heard hismake agurgling sound. And as is tros lipped dowm is lgs all the bdens of his ife to date seemed to al way from im he nipped back i head and faced sp into the darknes beneath the ceiling, andfor one blessed moment hefelt astrhecould understand the things fthis world in all heir immearurable beauty How sange they ane, he thought, and allofthese things. Then he felt Anelka slide down before him to the floor,Jelt her hands grab his naked buocks and draw him to e.Come sonny boyl" he heard er whsper, and with a smile he let go A Doubter's Almanac by Ethan Canin The act inself was fervent. Like a brisk teis game or a summer track meet something performed in daylight bethween competitons The cheap mattress bounced She liked to do it more than once, and he was sually able to comply ourbon was his gasoline Between sessions, he poured it at the conter while she lay panting on the shents Swea burshed her body. The lean neck.The urprisingly all breats, He would dowm another glass and return And in case anyone is interested these are some of the entries tha Momissey beat to the lop prize l year Book of Numbers by Joshua Cohen Her mouth was intensely ovoid, an almond mouth, of citrus crescents. And under that sling, her beeasts were like young fawns, sheep frolicking in hyssop-Psalms were about to pour out of me Vous? e vais me undressed, clothes off unhabile, déshab Before, During, After by Richard Bausch She reached up and broupht him to her, them rolled over on top of him and bean softly to move down. When she took him, still a ltle flaccid, into her mouth, be moaned, Oh, lover. She felt him harden, and she tightened her lips and puled, and then ran hertongue slow along the shaft, and then straightened and straddled him, guiding him into her, sinking and rising on him, head back, hands gripping is shoulders.It went on. Iwas very good Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff The party was loud. She pushed him back on the sandy tar paper, and he was ooking up at her face in the glow, and she lifted hee skirt and moved the crotch of her underwear aside, and Lotto, who was always ready, who was ready at the most abstract imaginings of a giril-footprints of a sandpiper like a crotch, galons of milk evoking boobs-was not ready at this oh so-abrupt beginning.It didn't matner. Gwennie shoved him in though she was dry. He shut his eyes and thought of-atgoes, split papayas, fruits tart at d sweet and dripping with juice, and then it was off, and he groamed and his whole body turned sweet I agree.We are spoilt by fanfction I don't knowwho to laugh at more, tha guy having an axistent al crisis bafore getting a b------ or the one going. "Mmm. Papaya. Much more arousing han I will never fear about my pon agsin G0 BACK TO 9ONOWRITING MORRISSEY areticlcie "I ever urte anyting this rocious, please someone aryone, smack me itarutherford Holy crap I dont think mine from my NaNo novelwasven this bad O o and at aast I have being aseusl doesn't mean not knowing how the basics of sex work. For xampla, rve bean wrdng smut for ie 10 years and m hala ace. Assxua ity meer 53 lack of sew!酖tracton, rot necessarily not understanding 5ex, Anyway, Ive bean laughing for 30 yaars at this pest omg Fuente dnks-beloorrythal les comment cked me

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