doomy I want to see a cutthroat kitchen sabotage where they have to cut everything with a sword while blindfolded with local anesthetic in all of their fingers fatarcanine Okay there Jigsaw calm the f--- dowrn

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homunculus-argument My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

kaijuno Follow Are you tired? Come scream with us, at the bog meetings every half moon at 3 a.m. Blaze 9,247 notes D

thx Follow call out post HELLO??? IS ANYONE THERE???????? achivement-unlocked Achievement unlocked! Hello world! Is anyone there..? #I intend for you to read this in the portal turret voice. ok goodbye #normal gameplay 104,032 notes D

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He really threw anon a curve ball

Anonymous asked: animals don't use computers. want to live like the fox you are? get off scoutgender: uhhh if a fox can't use the computer..h how am i typing this sentence:/ checkmate lOser

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(((Role Play)))

kibarockz79dean-shall-scythe-your-pie 19,963 doctorangel akemalik: ungryz ekes kanyewesticle holynipples kanyewesticle jakemalik: kanyewesticle whispers in ur ear* would you like fries with that bites lip* oh yeah baby touches ur inner thigh* would you like to super size that pokes head through the door* we're out of toilet paper what pokes head through window" she said she's out of toilet paper w-- can we get some privacy here pokes head through the ceiling vent no Source: kanyewesticle

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You'd be ripped too if you swam laps in a small pool like that

racheldotgov this pool is jarring against the background of your californian McMansion....splurge on that house but not on an in-ground pool? PLAY TIME professional-shitposting That possibly dad individual on the right is so ripped what the heck racheldotgov it's the laps he does in that pool every morning

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...I liked the Scooby Doo movie

im so glad CGI movies based on 2D characters, actually try to make them look like the characters now, instead of like, weird mutant realistic versions like which side looks better to you

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Being tumblr famous is easy (at least from my perspective); either be a good artist, make quality shitposts, or be like Takashi and be the tumblr equivalent of a commentator.

maxiesatanofficial midnight at the crossroads satan: so... what brings you here, child me: i'd like to betumblr famous please. satan: satan: i mean i could... i could make you Actually Famous, if you prefer me: i was kind of hoping i could get a discount. like, 30% of my soul, or my thirdborn child, or something

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Wanna piss people off? Just be a true neutral.

Remember that time I said True Neutral is a boring alignment and then I spent the next four hours clearing my inbox? Those were good times. corruptionpoints castlerook replied to your post Remember that time I said True Neutral is. I remember that, though I have no strong feelings one way or the other DWEEB E tharook I hate these True Neutrals, Tumblr. With enemies you know where they stand, but with Neutrals? Who knows... It sickens me. rabbittiddy If I die, tell my family I said, "hello"

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COOKING SHOW RP GONE WRONG (GONE SEXUAL)

NSFW

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*No refunds

slimetony This post is in early-access come back later and it might be funny shiftaria what are the stretch goals? slimetony more words micspamm More worms? slimetony Funny Post Stretch Goals 10,000 notes - I make a joke 20,000 notes-BOLD TEXT 50,000 notes - same joke but there are two of every word 100k note - go to grandpas garden and get some worms 250k notb worms, eould get names youdied Please support this guys, this may be the only chance we have to see such a post. Source: slimetony 16,636 notes

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A quality post worth featuring

涎泔4S、.dl 87%血1 0:47 AM You're on our Radar! Tumblr Radar is a hand- picked showcase of creative, interesting, and awesome posts-and you're featured on it right now! It's an honor to share your stuff with the world. Thanks for being amazing! tumblr. i hope donkey kong walks into my house and smashes a barrel over my head killing me instantly

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The main difference between YouTube and Tumblr

gotitforcheap having lots of youtube followers $$$$5S5$SS$SSS having lots of tumbir followers more exposure to angry 16 year olds who tell me to kill myself because I made a joke at the expense of a cartoon they like

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Tumblr tells a story

howler32557038 Since joining Tumblr, I've met a lot of young queer people. Look, I'm a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I'm approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard's story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking "I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I'm having." And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the s--- beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, "They were calling me gay." Her response was, "Well, are you?" My, "I don't know," earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom's stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we've lived together ever since. Things are better, but they're not perfect. I've had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad's side of the family. I haven't been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, "T'm not going to judge you, but I'd be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner." I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn't make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn't know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was f---dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom's boyfriend Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there Here's the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We met with in ves sa ace meet more ug hate from our own, over petty things. Don't go after one another over every little thing blematio. Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word "queer" bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a tra woman because they're confused about terminology, but the post where the did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just ing a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking ese. People Allies being driven away. Members own community are being cized. Ot laces rvou nged s largely because umblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming dical.I am begging y efforts to create picking blematic" things violen start directing y your allies, forget the "social justice warrior" mentality and put down your torch Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I'm certainly not saying that your anger doesn't have a good place when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That's when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don't have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we've just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won't even admit that the attack was homophobic. al change. When it comes to comes to Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don't just log on to your safe space and attack y like washing the dishes in a house that's on fire, kids. Let's fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let's just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war allies over small missteps. Thats

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What are the Minions then?

fenric25 Follow sarahruhlofficial the oompa loompas are a greek chorus caecilius-est-pater First of all, I hate this so much. Second of all, imagine if the two switched places (Veruca falls into the trash chute) Chorus: Pray thou no more, for mortals have no escape from destined woe Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness, and reverence towards the gods must be inviolate. Great words of prideful men are ever punished with great blows... (Oedipus stabs his eyes out) Oompa Loompas: Oompa loompa doopity do I've got another riddle for you What do you get when you sleep with your mum? A curse on your kids for decades to come Source: sarahruh!oficial #NO NO! NO NO NO! 12,021 notes

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Know Your Meme

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