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THE BEACON POST Want to advertise? Vi Published By Team PEAK New school year... Time to get blasted www.Give PateMoneyNov .edu Not-Sketchy-at-All Narrator is Super Menacing and Written By Eris Atropa No One Notices for Three Years After taking cookies form a complete stranger, the beautiful and prefect girl who l'm being told is named Ruby Rose was offered a spot at our very own Beacon Academy, a excellent decision on the part of our wise headmaster Professor Ozpin who is in no way playing favorites based on mysterious eye color. Oh please, this is b-------. I had to work to get into this academy but now miss Little Red Riding Dong gets in for swinging a deadly weapon around in public. LISA LAVENDER Don't talk about my Ruby like that, it is completely F--- you Lisa. We reported on this first. Your Tailr hair isn't even really purple. We all saw the noodz. Didn't want to dye that bush aye bitch? just hear you pop a lady-boner from the other room at the sight of Oh yeah, it's totally fair. Totally fair in the same way I totally didn't her picture Late last night, a dust shop robbery was thwarted by a brave student of Signal Academy, saving over 4,000 lien worth of dust and causing 73,000 lien in You wanna fight bitch? Come at me! You think I won't punch a cripple? I don't give a f TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES property damages. After beating the t--- out of the robberv, local swoopy hair activist Roman had Torchwick cornered when a military grade of nowhere. Seriously, how well planed are these nameless goons, our hero chased the leader of the Torchwick, on top of a nearby building. She almost airship piloted by the main bad guy showed up out f------ robberies? Like I get having contingencies but the fuel alone would probably cost... oh who cares. The young huntress in training was almost blown to s--- by Roman's pimp cane but was PLEASE STAND BY In other news, this Saturday's Faunas civil rights protest turned dark when members of the White Fuckboiz I mean Fang disrupted the ceremony. The once peaceful organization has now disrupted- wait you mean VNN covered this first? Exactly like that? Well m-----------. That piece of bitch Lisa is gonna- Wait what do you mean another paper covered it too? There's only us and VNN what are you talking about? thankfully saved by a magical sexy librarian. After a visually impressive fight scene, the bad guys got away and our young hero spent a night in the local drunk tank. Oh hey Ana, can you send me a copy of her mugshot? Yeah thank... oh god Hey Eris, are you okay? I just heard- NOTHING! I DIDNT! LETS JUST MOVE PAST THIS! VNN and now this s---! Wait, what the f--- is that? Vale Times? There's a f------ Vale Times!? First we have to compete with Anyway um, the four goon beaten up at the crime scene were taken into police custody but secon were quickly broken out and taken away in a large, multicolored van that read "Neapolitan's Ice You know, the worst part is I'm not even surprised Cream Truck of Pain". They have not been heard |anymore. from since Don't worry Eri, Ole Pate's got this under control. Just give me one *distant muffled screaming* louder distant muffled screaming*

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Episode 1 Beacon Post


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Uploaded Apr 03, 2016 at 12:58PM EDT

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RWBY

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beacon post, eris atropa, pate ocnus, anace pono, ruby rose, roman torchwick, cinder fall, ghost church

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