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Restofthewordswildlife Australian Wildlife Spiders Sopoisonous a bite can kill within40 utes, armored in shining black terror Spiders are already teriffying. The only consulation being the old adage: "They're more afraid of you, than you are of them." But then again we've never heard of a spider who, upon spying a human being, screams like a little girl and runs into the next room to get their boyfriend spider to take you outside like Darth Vaderand damnnear omni present, the Sydney Funnel WebSpider is Australia's answer to the immigration problem. Theyare not more afraid of you;" they're frequentlyknown to charge and bite with no provocation. The Sydney Funnel Web is whatwould hapen if Bruce Willis built a spider and gave it to the Devil as a Christmas present. Octopii Look at that thing; f--- that thing You want to talk Cthulhu? The Blanket Octopus is like Cthulhu mixed with Batman. In addition to the Cloak of Greater Horror up there, the Blanket Octopus hunts prey by tackling Man O' War jellyfish, ripping their poisonous stingers off and using themas venomous chain flails. It even f---- like a horror movie: To mate, it simply fills a tentacle with sperm, rips it off and hands it to the pi are kind of cute in an odd way Octo , but they are pretty alien. It's easy to see how one could be made terrifying. Just look at Cthulhu, for example. They can camouflage themselves, squeeze through the tiniest of spaces, and have double the amount of acceptable limbs to be eligible for 'adorable' status. You could probably make that creepy Earthworms Aw, that s more like it. The friendly Earthworm. Aside from its frequent misůse as a Girl Repellent on playgrounds, there is no way the common Earthworm can be considered frightening Oh, Australia, we should have known you'd find a way. The sickly, unearthly blue, the bulging, slimy mass, and did we mention it glows in the f------ dark? So you can see it writhe at you through the black of night? The only way this could be scarier is if it was three feet long ...which it is Three inches would be enough to give us nightmares, we'd have to practice just to e properly afraid of Australia's version of the Earthworm. Marsupials All right, so an Earthworm could bring back repressed memories of playground assaults or just remind you of a dis embodied penis; we should have seen how it could be made into fear incarnate ut there's no way you can make a marsupial terrifying. The absolute creepiest one the rest of the world has is the possum, and on his best day he's st a goth ferret. A marsupial is a small four-legged mammal with a pouch By design it is adorable. Do your worst Australia No. No way that is a real thing. There is no such thing as a wolf-bear-tiger with pure black shark eyes and the jaws of a snake, Australia. You are making it up. The Thylacine apack-hunting marsupial builtlike a great cat with the ability to open its jaws up to 120 degrees-is unfortunately, all too real. Though it was thought hunted to extinction, recent sightings indicate there mayactually be a fewleft. See, there's areason Australia is awater-locked continent: Geography is trying to protectyou.

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Just another day.....


Uploaded by Ox Doxon Nov 01, 2015 at 11:23PM EST

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idk if y'all americans and that know this, but in Australia instead of snow at christmas we get these lil shiny bugs everywhere and they're attracted to the christmas lights and we call them christmas beetles and despite being australian they don't bite or anything they just crawl around on your hand and it's such a good and pure feeling and yeah cryoverkiltmilk 'despite being australian' thefingerfuckingfemalefury "We know what your thinking but this does not want to kill you"
Young Australians summarized in one picture: Skinny white guy, his smug Asian girlfriend and the ogre looking white woman next to them that used to be the regular breeding stock of the land
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Uploaded Nov 01, 2015 at 11:23PM EST

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Australia

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everything is trying to kill you

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