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Tumblr - Well Suck me Sideways...

$20.00 $20.00 $20.00 1998 2005 2013 CAN WE STOP PRETENDING ITS STILL POSSIBLE TO LIVE ON THE MINIMUM WAGE? miketooch: adekittykat: miketooch oinonio: Can we please stop pretending it is possible to live on minimum wage? Only if we also stop pretending Andrew Jackson isn't slowly getting closer and closer to crawling out of the money to get us... If I ever have any regrets, my addition to this post will never be one of them.

cannibalchicken Follow Mar 30 Elly Bangs @elly_bangs Deeply haunted by a study that found human beings are *less than 50% accurate* in determining whether they are being flirted with. 2:27 PM 2023-02-04 664K Views 21K Likes 682 Retweets 333 Quotes rudecanadiantwo Follow 11 hr. ago Look. I'm sorry I'm 0% accurate and dragging the average down. uncle-mojave Follow 6 hr. ago Had a girl look me innthe eyes and tell me she wanted to go to bed while holding my hand so I told her that she better go then before she fell asleep. 1,060 notes D

ultraviolence Follow Apr 15 fake idgafer, i saw you yearning

HAVE A CLOWN TODAY? HERE I AM sadclowncentral Follow nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me a situation to be in HAVE YOU HUGGED A CLOWN TODA HERE sadclowncentral Follow anonymous asked: helicopter dead. s said gluten tag [ID: anonymous question reading: helicopter deada said gluten tag ///end ID] :(

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH

SO THIS GUY WAS TRYING TO HIT ON THIS GIRL IN MY CLASS TODAY AND THIS HAPPENED Douche: hey Nice girl: Douche: HEY Nice girl: what? Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my d--- Nice girl: excuse me? Douche: yeah, it should say choking hazard lol "hi fives bros Nice girl: isn't that a label they put on small obiects?

smoKING

laughingcolours.conm Teacher "Can you tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" Student: Smo-King and Drin-King" Teacher Resigned! railroadsoftware why'd she resign gayleafcrime couldnt handle the truth

Watch out

petimetrek-cobwebsand rainbows Source: welele 88888883 2.169 notessisumlliuuoulul nazmatik look out Source: nazmatik 5,624 notes

This makes me unreasonably mad

Taxi Driver Rejects a woman Making Sexual Advan So... this woman sexually assaults this guy, clearly. He's begging pleading, demanding she stop She doesnt stop She grabs his hand and stuffs it in her crotch. He recoils. Insert False Allegation: THE F------ CAB DRIVER IS ARRESTED Let that sink in.. The f------ CAB DRIVER ended up getting arrested when the lawyer in question. Yeah... that's right... SHES A F------ LAWYER... accused him of blackmailing her He was summarily There was no proof he actually blackmailed her. None. The Police never even bothered to verify her claims. At all. They just straight up f------ arrested the CAB DRIVER and threw him in jail When it became apparent there was no proof of blackmail whatsoever, and the whole "She's f------ sexually assaulting him on the f------ tape the police are holding in their hands" she managed to get charged with something What did she get charged with? Simple assault Ishit you not arrested Screams anguish of WHAT THE F---?!?!?!? Im going to throw up now Wooow this was scary as f--- to watch I can do you one better.... He was arrested in part for voyeurism against her... for filming her sexually assaulting him l didn't mention it before for fear that no one would believe me That's right.... THE POLICE CHARGED HIM WITH VIDEO VOYEURISM FOR FILMING THE WOMAN SEXUALLY ASSAULTING HIM WHILE HE WAS BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. FOR MAKING ALLEGED CREEP SHOTS AGAINST THE WOMAN ATTEMPTING TO R--- HIM HE WAS THROWN IN JAIL. K-me ICANHASCHEEZBURGER.COM E I mean just... !... "RAGE* This dude was arrested for filming his r---#feminism xt August 03, 2014 O comments Tweet

Yeti Costume

as-seenon-tv: I love working at joann fabrics today a guy asked me to show him the fake fur and when I did he goes "noooo... this won't do" and part of my job is giving advice for projects so I asked him what he was using it for and he looks down at the floor and quietly says "...I wanna make a yeti costume to scare people with when we go skiing..."

tumble being a shithole as usual

once again the neurotypicals want to put the borderlines in really s----- light and paint themselves as the weepy martyrs instead of trying to accomodate us Borderline areppeople and deserve to be locked up unbil they get some***help adhdgh0st not-an-ocelot badpearl i thought this was relevant seriously Imao do you think I am an a------ to people like you badpearl nice to hear the neurotypicals Really Care About Us adhdgh0st considering you just referred to me and other neurodivergent ppl using the phrase people like yo yea. i do. Imao not-an-ocelot once again tumble generalizes a large group of mostly innocent well meaning people as assholes badpearl adhdgh0st in summary: f--- you, f--- your children, and eat my s--- you blithering f--- Source: adhdgh0st #ableísm// #f--- your ohhhhh my god badpearl

Finding Clarence

keep-the-pieces asked Can you draw a jealous jellyfish? 沫 bewbin answered u jelly u cant swim as fast as me ill shock u so hard, Pixar will have to make a movie called finding Clarence but theyll never find u clarence cause youll be f------ dead

This sounds like something just-shower-thoughts would post.

yourerightinthemiddleoftheroad: andwhispers every book you've ever read is just a different combination of 26 letters this post literally made me look away from my screen and rethink my entire life 284.265 notes は間

He sails a boat, hits a wall, and says goodbye to his audience.

Spoil the ending of your favorite movie with no context. itswalky he doctress thehufflepuffwholeaptth ime idiot-thing XC He spins a top that may or may not have fallen over before reuniting with his children They didn't get sucked up platonic as hell friendship saves the day They get away just as the police commissioner realizes who they are They have to do something about their kid:s The pin keeping his jawbone in place follows his disembodied hand and leg to find his severed head buried in the snow The whole group sings in jail He falls apart and everybody leaves him They had fun storming the castle to save her from mawwaige And he wants his father back you son of a bitch There was no mine shaft gap not sure why he had to be naturalized, he was born here Divorce would have been a really useful service in medieval times

metallica.vs.napster.jpeg

lasagnababy: when rappers brag about being rich and breaking the law but then whine when people illegally download their music NICk.co

Story time

offside-goal Tumblr stories be like SO TOdAY I WAS At thE SUBWAY and A DUDE LOOKED AT ME AND saiD "U R SO UGLY I HATE UR WHOLE FAMILY SUCK MY D--- u f------ whOER" and I CALMLY GOT MY KATANA OUT MY BACKPACK AN D KILLED hiM RIGHT THERE!!! BECAUSE I'M SO BADASS!!! EVERYONE IN THE TRAIN APPLAUDED ME! LIKE U KNOW THAT HAPPENS EVRYDAY RITE??? AND A COP SAW BUT diD NOTHING BECAuSE I WAS COOL!!! I alSO FOUND THE HOLY GRAIL!!

I'm sure some people would find a way

fake deep posts are like straightbovfriend you like seashells but you wouldn't eat sand f--- the ocean Reblogged 2 days ago from quertare (originally from straightboyfriend) 106,763 notes Source: straightboyfriend

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