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Twitter / X - Image Gallery Page 5

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Moar:

Failed surprise

> 5 y.o. I have a Mother's Day gift for you! Me: Awesome, buddy, don't tell me what it is though, okay? 5 y.o. I won't... it's a magnet. Me: Okay bud, see, you just told me what it was. 5 y.o.: BUT I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT THE PICTURE ON IT. Me: You're right. I can't wait. 5 y.o....It's a picture of me.

Poor dude

She's smart

Periwinkle Jones @peachesanscream There's sibling rivalry, then there's my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brother's nursery to tell us that we don't have to collect him today because he's going to live there now and he 'won't even miss us'

That's a real fear

Fey @Trev97 I just remembered that when i got my first dog i was 7 and he was 1 (7 in dog years) and i cried when he turned 2 because i didnt think a 14 year old dog would wanna hangout with me. 09:25 4/10/19 Twitter for iPhone

Public armpits is crazy

sarah @sarahradz ... I asked my 8yo if he liked my sleeveless blouse, he said "the color's fine, but I don't like public armpits" Public. Armpits. It's going straight to Goodwill

Please...

ISAAC TENDO @IsaacDTendo We now pronounce you Mr&MrsTendo $ 10 Ebuka Nwosu @Phardiga Please for the sake of world peace name your first child 'Nin'. Please.

Don't worry about it

aue CoKane @KanesCabDriv3r Jedi business, go back to your drinks Follow 000 31

We got a bad boy over here

Simon Holland → @simoncholland *Me passing a note to the waitress* Hi, I'm going to order Diablo Fire wings but could you please just bring me mild? Also when you bring the mild wings could you please say "whoa, who ordered the Diablo wings?"

What...

Jake Symbol @JakeSymbol I'm sick of pointing a gun at my dad through my window at 2am as he pleas "come on Jake. Just let your old paw in. I'm tired" and replying "You're not my dad. He's asleep in the other room. I hear him snoring" then watching his expression go sour as he turns back toward the woods 9:57 PM 16 Feb 20 13.6K Retweets 350 Quotes 80.6K Likes

Next time they won't run

frewad Follow @Fredward3948576 went for a walk, Very pleasant evening. the squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. that stung a little. I will remember their faces 7:42 PM - Sep 2, 2024 1.8M Views

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