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classic misdirection

M@thew @TweetPotato314 murderer: run if you want to live me: *starts sprinting* murderer: not like toward me tho

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begone you foul demon cotton eyed joe, thy grasp faded on this plane long ago, from whence you came there you shall go, i seal thee away, cotton eyed joe

debt grips @slimerobots woke up midflight, made this note, immediately went back to sleep begone you foul demon cotton eyed joe, thy grasp on this plane faded long ago, from whence you came, there you shall go, i seal thee away, cotton eyed joe Modified: 9:10 PM/Created: 9:08 PM 6/28/17, 8:16 PM 3,793 Retweets 6,888 Likes

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They would drink tea with milk in it without being British

the drake gatsby @DrakeGatsby Me: Man T-Rexes looked so col Scientist: Nah actually they looked like giant idiot birds Me: Oh bummer. They were great hunters tho Scientist: There's evidence they were scavengers Me: Ok maybe just stop ruinin- Scientist: They wore socks with sandals 9:22 AM · 1/4/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Twitter 2019 vs Tumblr 2014

ichibankasuga "2019 twitter is just 2014 tumblr" now you see a lot of elements of this ARE true, but what youre missing is that 2014 tumblr, however disastrous it was, was contained. 2019 twitter is all of that unmitigated horror spilling over into a far more quote unquote normal site ichibankasuga exeggcute replied to your post: "2019 twitter is just 2014 tumblr" now you s... Aa making a bad post on tumblr in 2014 (as we all did often and with gusto) rarely (if ever?) got you on, like, a talk show or something. but making a bad post on twitter means someone writes an article about you in wired magazine three months later

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"when the notre-dame cathedral burned for 15 seconds my entire timeline was in shambles.. EVERYONE on this fucking website was heartbroken. australia (THE COUNTRY) has been on fire since SEPTEMBER & the entirety of twitter is arguing about whether or not

kobi @lovehatelove when the notre-dame cathedral burned for 15 seconds my entire timeline was in shambles.. EVERYONE on this f------ website was heartbroken. australia (THE COUNTRY) has been on fire since SEPTEMBER & the entirety of twitter is arguing about whether or not adam driver is attractive. 6:58 PM - Jan 2, 2020 - Twitter for iPhone 52K Retweets 147.4K Likes

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Press F or S for the two girls being addressed in the tweet

iris hera | 39 Follow @dualiitys these two girls are named Bailee Beckett and Bethany Bonar. they're both in ninth grade. i won't name their school for safety reasons but uhh imagine being this privileged. 131 Send a chat 0:24 1.59M views 5 7:55 PM - 29 Dec 2019 19,200 Retweets 79,242 Likes 17 19K O 2.5K O 79K

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Fashion

Alanna Lucis Caelum @StarDustShadow The armor I The armor that has good stats want to wear vs Traducir Tweet

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Discovering a fetish in 3 acts

Parasite Threeve @3rd_nrg En respuesta a @envinyon y @HatokTalk Discovering a fetish in 3 acts Traducir Tweet jason endymion @envinyon Replying to @HatokTalk I don't believe you 0 3 t31 1m 00 jason endymion @envinyon Replying to @envinyon @HatokTalk oh I wish I didn't google that Q1 t71 ♡ 3 *** 57s jason endymion @envinyon Replying to @envinyon @HatokTalk actually hold up 9:54pm · 25 Dec 2019 · TweetDeck

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curious

Jupiter *war on * Jones @lvl28mage You hate feudalism? Yet you toil the lord's land, curious. Feudalism has lifted more people from poverty than anything else this far. Greek democracy? Failed. Roman democracy? Failed and turned into a dictatorship. It fails every time it has been tried. 5:15 PM · 2019-12-16 · Twitter for Android

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Irony is lost on some people

Catherine na Nollag @cafernblue i till think my favourite thing that's ever happened to me on the internet is the time a guy said "people change their minds when you show them facts" and I said "actually studies show that's not true" and linked TWO sources and he said "yeah well I still think it works" 12:07 PM · 12/10/19 · Twitter for Android 30.2K Retweets 172K Likes

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