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Here's What It Taught Me About B2B Sales refers to a viral satirical LinkedIn post in which a user described seven things about B2B sales his proposal to his girlfriend supposedly taught him. The post went viral across social media in late April and early May 2024, inspiring parody memes using it as a catchphrase.

Origin

On April 30th, 2024, LinkedIn[1] user Bryan Shankman made a satirical post about seven things his recent proposal to his girlfriend taught him about B2B sales. The post (screenshots shown below) garnered over 2,000 reactions, 180 reposts and 810 comments on the site in three days.

Bryan Shankman • 3rd+ Owner @ SuperSeller | Get meetings with ... Book an appointment 2d. I proposed to my girlfriend this weekend. Ŏ Here's what it taught me about B2B sales: + Follow Like a well-run sales cycle, key milestones must be met throughout the relationship to ensure a Closed Won status at the end. 1. Prospecting: Not every prospect or partner will be the right fit. Identifying the right fit takes time. You can't be afraid to say "No" to find the person you know will value your offer most. 2. Discovery: Doing deep discovery is critical. Getting happy ears after a positive first date is easy, but you must continue to dig to understand the long-term fit. Understanding and calculating ROI is crucial in this early stage. 3. Demo: If you're confident there is a strong fit, showing your product to potential buyers is essential. Don't simply speak to the features or functionality; explain the results the other person can expect. Ideally, include a trial so they can try the product and get a feel for it.
Bryan Shankman. Following Owner @ SuperSeller | Get meetings with qualifie... Book an appointment 31m → I proposed to my girlfriend this weekend. Here's what it taught me about B2B sales: ...see more

Spread

On April 30th, 2024, Redditor No_Sandwich1 posted a screenshot of the post to the /r/LinkedInLunatics[2] subreddit, where it gained over 26,000 upvotes in three days. Later that day, X[3] / Twitter user @avighnash reposted the screenshot, with their post gaining over 12,000 reposts and 139,000 likes in three days.

The X post inspired parody posts in which users described various situations before inappropriately summarizing, "Here’s what it taught me about B2B sales." For example, on May 1st, X[4] user @joshscherr posted a The Metamorphosis meme using the catchphrase that received over 1,200 reposts and 11,000 likes in two days (shown below).

Josh Scherr @joshscherr I awoke this morning from unsettling dreams to find myself changed, in my bed, into a monstrous vermin. Here's what it taught me about B2B sales: Riffs 2013

On May 2nd, 2024, X[5] user @WindReign made a parody post that garnered over 1,100 reposts and 18,000 likes in one day (shown below).

Sharsrain @WindReign My best friend of 20 years threw himself off a Bridge after a horrible breakup and I started dating his ex after the funeral. Here's what it taught me about B2B enterprise sales • 5:23 AM May 2, 2024 969.2K Views

Various Examples

Susan Arendt @SusanArendt I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. Here's what it taught me about B2B sales. ...
atlas о @creatine_cycle At the gym yesterday a girl in yoga pants asked how many sets I had left on the lat pulldown and I went non-verbal. Here's what it taught me about B2B enterprise sales 6:44 PM • May 1, 2024 · 191.5K Views
Ramp Capital @RampCapitalLLC My wife's boyfriend just bought me a Nintendo Switch. Here's what it taught me about B2B enterprise sales • • 4:09 PM May 2, 2024 10.2K Views ...

Xianyang City Bureaucrat @XianyangCB I buried a thousand enemy captives alive this weekend. Here's what it taught me about B2B sales: ...
Owner @ SuperSeller | Get meetings with qualified leads. Book an appointment 1d. → I proposed to my girlfriend this weekend. Here's what it taught me about B2B sales: Corporate Sween 2,995 followers 1d ... You're lucky that you're the owner. If you were on my team I would fire you for the following reasons: 1) No one on my team is allowed to get married. This helps decrease the chances of people taking maternity or paternity leave. 2) You clearly took a vacation to execute this proposal which shows your head is not in the right place. No one on my team takes days off. 3) You're based in Santa Monica. I don't allow west coast based workers on my team as California recently passed legislation that legally requires employers to give 40 hours of sick leave a year.
Mike Futter @Futterish ... We're fighting for our right to live. And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, we will not go quietly into the night. Here's what the alien invasion taught me about B2B sales.

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