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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 8

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Skunk monkey | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cryptids that make u kek 02/27/21(Sat)13:29:40 No.27782245 46D6FCE3-BDF7-4975-8310-00EA793A20FC.jpg 34 KB JPG Skunk monkey

Anon has an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)04:20:06 No.848396859 "i can't sleep eddy, i keep thinking-" 11 CN Why do transgenders want us to accept them if they don't even accept themselves 1571247131073.jpg 60 KB JPG >be me >be on a toilet >start thinking about trannies >get an idea to prove them that they believe in bs It's 10 am right now. If I would change the time on my phone to 11 am, would that mean that it's 11 am now? If not, how does make cutting your d--- off change your gender?

Anon covers his tracks | /r/Greentext

File: 1369239681396.jpg-(8 KB, 260x194, images.jpg) Anonymous (ID: VOnu3N62) 05/22/13(Wed)12:21:21 No.481867907 Happened to me last night : >be 20 >last night, at about 1am >bored, decide to text my fuckbuddy >send to her a picture of my d--- >accidentaly send it to my parents >ohgodwhathaveidone.png >parents live at about 200km (120 miles, f------) from me >l presume they are asleep >take my car >drive like crazy >3am >arrive to my parents house >introduce in the house like a thief >they always let their phone on the living room table >grab the phone >delete the picture >leave slowly the house I came back to my place at 5am, my parents knew nothing about that. >everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

Anon is flabbergasted | /r/Greentext

family feud time bois Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)20:52:26 No.118860471 >>118860921 >Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" >Contestant: "The penis" >SH: "A WUH... HUH??" >audience erupts into laughter >Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself >laughter gets even louder >SH: "O lordy..." >one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard >SH: "YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP" >the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls >the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself >SH: (putting on a weary voice) "Survey says.." >the board shows 100 for "penis" >Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end

Anon thinks ahead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on carpet and bed 19 KB JPG >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me

Anon is starting to like his president | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous C'mon man 02/27/21(Sat)21:51:18 No.48470546 130219192003-tsr-biden-prefers-double-barrel-shotgun-00003422-story- top.jpg 40 KB JPG >airstikes the middle east >upcoming best gun salesman to date >knowingly steals office I'm starting to like this guy

Anon cashes in on degeneracy | /r/Greentext

The pros and cons of a Kindle | /r/Greentext

No.176563812 hours ago >>17655366 (OP) >reading in a cafe >real book >cute girls notices me >"hey are reading Bataille's Eroticism? I looooove that book" >she saw the cover and came to me >we have sex right there in the café while smoking cigarettes and talking about death >when I c-- the waiter tell me that he's impressed by the size of my c--- >a few months later >buy an ereader >go to cafe >no one can know what I am reading (Bataille's Eroticism) >decide that every now and then l'll drop a hint >say loudly while watching the neighbouring girls >"sex and death heh? boy that's something!" >they leave >my ereader is out of battery >borrow a charger from a dude smoking a e-c-------- while on skype >begin to masturbate out of frustration >the waiter comes and tells me I need to leave >as I leave he tells me that my c--- is a lot smaller than before >I tell him it's probably the electronics, but I can download books ll never read for free I didn't have sex since I bought an ereader.

anon has a new dog | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)19:10:23 No.546142039 File: 1608829981628.jpg (487 KB, 973x993) >>546142362 SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP >SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCLOP

Anon uses Linux | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21 (Fri) 10:27:43 No.846046556 >year 1999 >get pirated copy of windows 98 >install it >soon as i plug in dial up >Bill f------ Gates bust through window 59 KB JPG >'oops, looks like your Windows install is broke. Let me help you repair it' >picks up piece of broken glass and starts stabbing me >he grabs my ethernet cable >'im going to cut off your air ways at 1000 MBPS!" >starts to choke me >c-- >i pass out >he throws CRT monitor on me >takes a s--- on my face >leaves And that is why i use Linux. F--- bill gates and microsoft

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