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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 6

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Anon confuses Chad and Tyrone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)07:46:43 No.848358672 >Be Me >Mommy's 69Olb 30 year old mistake >Wake at up at 2pm and see that I have enough GBP for an extra large tendie feels good man meal. >Waddle downstairs as fast as I can and barge in on Mommy deep throating 565 KB JPG Chad's big white c---. >Start yelling "GIVE ME TENDIES CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK." On repeat while doing the Chicken dance. >Mommy and Tyrone immediately stop what they're doing and start praying "Oh good lord please let the diabetes and high blood pressure take him." >After their prayer I start yelling "TENDIE TUESDAY TENDIE TUESDAY." >Chad rolls his eyes and tells me "Anon it's not Tuesday, it's Friday." >I start yelling "FRY CHAD FRIDAY!" And slap him really hard. >Chad passes out. >l take Chad's body and toss it into the deep fryer. >I then take his wallet and buy so many tendies that Wendy's had to close after I left. >MFW I got more tendies that day than I ever had in my entire life. >Feels good man.

Anon tries tea | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/10/19(Mon)23:57:31 No.256056764 >>256056860 >>256056942 >>256056986 >>256057042 >>256057090 >>256057107 >>256057130 >>256057236 File: f85cb694209487e5b1dd553cf(..).png (3.1 MB, 1413x2000) Just tried tea for the first time and I really don't understand why the bongs love it so much. Drinking the broth was fine but when it actually came time to eat the thing I was almost sick. Bongs actually like this? O Anonymous 06/10/19(Mon)23:58:53 No.256056860 ► >>256057003 File: 1559854782662.png (67 KB, 239x410) >>256056764 >when it actually came time to eat the thing I was almost sick. w-what did you eat? >>256056860 The teabag. O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:00:43 No.256057003 >>256057082 >>256057107 >>256057164 >>256057183 >>256057241 >256057245 >>256057249 >>256057278 File: b11dce44af9d071a50f5d1610(...).png (483 KB, 888x1222) >>256056860 The teabag. O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:02:45 No.256057164 File: 69A6E80D-28ED-4145-8E3E-9(..).gif (83 KB, 132x142) O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:03:01 No.256057183 File: laughingshikikan.jpg (48 KB, 680x432) O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:03:51 No.256057241 >>256057003 Are you retarded? >>256057003 >He ate the teabag >>256057003 Did you drink hot water after putting the teabag in your mouth? O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:03:51 No.256057245 ► >>256057003 dude what O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:04:22 No.256057278 ► File: 1543823942475.jpg (20 KB, 200x200) O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:06:44 No.256057465 ► >>256057003 O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:03:54 No.256057249 ► >>256057003 You're supposed to eat that first >>256057003 Based and tea-pilled O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:08:48 No.256057615 ► File: 12352456436.jpg (32 KB, 454x550) O Anonymous 06/11/19(Tue)00:06:13 No.256057425 ► File: 73416111_p0.jpg (2.35 MB, 1700x1204) >>256057003 Anon you're supposed to eat the teabag first then drink the water >>256057003 >not only drinking the tea brewed with a teabag, but also eating the teabag itself What the actual f---

Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/21 (Sat)21:54:49 No.62520213 So angry lads. >Go out to local shop to buy bread >Lady at the cash machine puts her card in, tries to draw out money, gets rejected >She doesn't have the money in 50 KB JPG her bank to withdraw >She turns to me and says how the machine is s--- >So she tries again >And again >Each time looking at me and saying it doesn't have cash in it >7 times shes tried it now >Ask if I could quickly use it to draw out my tenner >She looks at me and asks who the f--- do I think I am >Stand there and think this woman whos half my size is nuts, stand back let her continue >Shes calling me every name under the sun and trying to draw out money still >Get fed up, tell her to let me draw out my money and she can continue >She f------ explodes at me >Staff run over and get aggressive >They know her from outside of work >They stroke her hair whilst she pretends to walk up to me and be "held back" by the staff >She shouts loudly that shes shopping for her kids and I'm stopping her using the machine >More people come over >l tell her I feel sorry for her kids to have a white trash mum like her >Staff turn around to me and tell me to shut my mouth, people from the crowd start telling me l can't talk to her like that >All this time shes alternating from sticking a finger in my face and trying to draw out money >Staff give her money and hugs, she saunters off going down the line telling them what a c--- I am >Flags people down outside the store coming in telling them that I tried to stop her from feeding her kids and what a prick I am >She has a chat with the staff casually about what a prick I am >She walks off shouting she'll see me outside >Go outside >Shes not there I don't even know what to make of it. I've never felt so put down by an entire f------ store including the staff because they know the person. Only one guy came up to me and said "you should report that, out of order that is" who was behind me in the line All I wanted was a couple of cans >>62520315 # >>62520475 # >>62520532 #

Anon dies at Pompeii | /r/Greentext

Embracing figures at Pompeii 'could have been gay lovers', after scan reveals they are both men >be me >drinking wine with best bro >served 10 years in army together >saved my life once >named my son after the guy >mountain f------ explodes >find house and hide for shelter >give each other one last bro hug >ash burys us both >1900 years later get found >lol gay bois

new yorkers so phony | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ Auto] File: bitchass.jpg (231 KB, 1204x856) I Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)10:39:31 >doesn't even skate why are new yorkers such posers prame [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [D Auto]

Anon became his own grandpa. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.

Anon likes a horse girl | /r/Greentext

File: itried.jpg (13 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)19:52:27 I f----- up /bros >be 2 weeks ago >crushing on a horse girl >all she loves is horses >jumps horses, dressages with horses >all horse things. >Saw her jumps on social >She always competes >loves winning, loves ribbons >soon ads pop up for me for ribbons >Scrolling ribbons even on p--- sites >Custom ribbons >l order one. Get it embroidered >"#1 Crush. Will you go out with me Tuesday" >Tuesday is my only night off >fastfoodworkerlife.gif > get to school on Friday >It'll give her the weekend to think about it >l spring it on her after lunch >she stops me, starts talking >I don't hear words at first because her eyes are on me >"flattered...but" >Something like that. Expected it. >Accept like a man and go on my way >Hear laughter later >The ribbon is passing around >She told everyone >F------ rekt >I sill watch her jump videos. Ha P* ARLOWEEN HarP* SALOWEEN

Anon is ugly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)00:55:37 No.62515652 >5000 (five thousand) years of evolution for the modern h--- sapiens >somehow through all these years, the ugly/short/bald genes have not been bred out >5000 years of sexual selection where 17 KB JPG only chads get the girl Is evolution fake? was darwin a f----- hack? or am i unlucky enough to be born in the exact same moment women decided to only choose the top 1% of men? : Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)00:57:26 No.62515672 >>62515652 (OP) # Dude are you retarded? For most of the last 5000 years organised religion and governments forced monogamy on commoners. Meaning that every man got a wife, usually by arranged marriage. Even the ugly dudes. Civilization completely wiped out natural and sexual selection.

Inventive anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)01:44:43 No.848353057 eeeyy artworks-000483644889-nmmqf2-t500x500.jpg 72 KB JPG >be me in high school >snakes are cool >suicidal >idea.jpeg >save money and get a constrictor snake >try and get it to kill me itself >best way to go 3 Replies View Thread

Op eats applesauce really early in the morning | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)02:28:17 No.848393993 >be me >eating applesauce at 2:30 in the morning > be you >not eating applesauce at 2:30 in the morning >why live? 3 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)02:29:12 No.848394042 i once put hot sauce on my applesauce

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