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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 5

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Anon eats his piglets | /r/Greentext

Anon with his nephew | /r/Greentext

Push in the Bush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)04:14:22 No.62124898 >eats beans BUSH'S >enjoys beans BEST Original BAKED BEANS 39 KB JPG

Anon on pompeii | /r/Greentext

Embracing figures at Pompeii 'could have been gay lovers', after scan reveals they are both men f share CD040683-728B-46E2-9C39-6152B03FE828.png 1.67 MB PNG >be me >drinking wine with best bro >served 10 years in army together >saved my life once >named my son after the guy >mountain f------ explodes >find house and hide for shelter >give each other one last bro hug >ash burys us both >1900 years later get found >lol gay bois

Anon needs some serious help | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:58:27 No.62116640 File: 1611185559356.gif (331 KB, 112x112) >masturbated to my dad's playboys >some of the pages were stuck together >would lay on floor of shower and use spray nozzle attachment on my p---- >would do this when I had to piss >made up that I was on a gameshow where I wasn't allowed to piss while being tortured until I came >probably like 11 or 12? no idea where I got that from >let flies land on my vagina while watching tiny toons at my grandma's house, found it erotic >f----- myself with a carrot in the shower and my mom found it and confronted me over it 100% true and honest content

Anon works at a grocery store | /r/Greentext

File: 354.png (64 KB, 657x527) Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)16:39:22 No.62101785 ► >>62101797 work story >wagecuck at grocery store >middle aged women wants to buy a pack of beer >ask to see ID "oh I don't have one" >it's ok then, you look old enough >she looks visibly p----- >found out later that I got a customer complaint >pretty sure it was her how was this my fault? >> Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)16:40:30 No.62101797 >>62101785 (OP) Do you have Aspergers syndrome opee? Sounds like it.

Anon talks politics with gf | /r/Greentext

Talking politics with women 01/31/21(Sun)17:38:50 No.30597609 >gf really supports BLM and other such b------- >social media posts, going to rallies, etc >typical young white woman >I love her so I always avoid sensitive subjects >yesterday she starts bugging me a lot 345 KB PNG about it >"ahh, I'm just skeptical about these kinds of things" >I keep trying to deflect and disengage >l'm too autistic, don't want to show her my powerlevel >she won't drop it, being very persistent >"ahh you know these things are really complicated, I try not to get involved haha" >"Anon I want to talk about this!" >she's getting kind of mad >ohfuck >there's no escape >"uhh how about we give each other five minutes of uninterrupted time to share our opinions?" >she loves the idea, sits at the table >she gives me some paper to take notes, set a timer for five minutes on her phone >starts rattling off about institutional racism, collective white guilt, reparations >"Anon, white silence is violence!" >l write down some b------- to appear respectful and attentive >it's my turn now >mytimehascome.png >going to be as delicate as possible >spend about a minute agreeing that black people are f----- in America >she's nodding >so far so good >time to pivot >bring up racial correlations with IQ >start citing crime statistics >"The greatest threat to Americans is black criminals" >"This isn't even Canada's problem, let them deal with it" >basically saying that blacks are stupid and violent in the nicest way possible >gf starts crying >*pause my time* >"babe what's wrong?" >"w-- Anon are you actually this racist???" >oh f--- >"N-no I just think we need to look at all the angles!" >gf breaks down >yells at me and calls me a horrible person >st laying on the table crying into her elbow >Spaghetti Hawk Down >"b-baby, come on now- please" >no answer >"I don't know how to make this better right now so I'm just going to go" >stop at dominos on the way home >eat pizza alone in the dark Never EVER talk about politics with your gf, bros

Anon has his life ruined | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)21:18:47 No.846216918 [Reply] >>846217455 SMOSH >be me, 11 years old >was a huge fan of smosh >watching funny smosh video one late night, feels good man >suddenly some hot lady in a bikini pops up on screen, she wets herself with water from a hose outside >its very sexy, I pop a boner >keep rewinding the scene, starts to rub my d--- >eventually I came, mind f------ blowned of what just happened >gets addicted to m-----------, still do it to this day F--- you Smosh, you ruined my life

Anon makes pizza | /r/Greentext

>be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, and i make the rest of it 69 KB JPG >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.

You are anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/20(Fri)22:32:34 No.817682610 > be me > You are now me > Have fun with you terrible life 203 KB JPG

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