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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 2

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Most effective cheer up ever | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

Nanny State Trooper | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: G19+RQjQ) Australia Social Media Ban ▼Settings Mobile Home 11/28/24(Thu)17:11:29 No.489853764 BBC Australian social media ban on under-16s approved by Senate 10 hours ago 54 KB PNG Why are parents so quick to blame everything wrong with their children on anything but themselves? >Childhood Obesity >"Its all the sugar in the food" N----, you feed them. We don't need to age restrict candy to resolve this problem. >Bad Grades >"Its le teachers fault" S--- for brains, You need to make sure that your child is doing their homework and grounding them for getting bad grades. >Bad Behaviour >"My Child is out of control! I need to complain about this on a TV documentary" Ever heard of a belt? >Social media and Phone use >"Social media is making my child addicted to their phone!!!!" You have arms? Do you not know how to grab a phone from your child? Why must they insist on some kind of nanny state bureaucracy to do their job for them, on my dime? Do they no realise that eventually that this will end up biting them in the ass when they have to present ID when logging on to facebook to rage about liberals or having to present ID to buy snacks? And what pisses me off about this most is that these Ideas sound nice to world leaders around the world, especially in the EU, and this begins a global bureaucratic circle jerk, generating an endless stream of terrible regulations. But I digress. This is Australia that I'm talking about. These retards have really lived up to their prison Island origins.

Not my proudest moment, still cringe everytime I remember | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me at 16 >go to quinceañera party >have a good time >next day mom invites me to her friends house >bored so accept 155 KB PNG >fast forward to friends house >mom in kitchen chatting with friends >me chilling in living room on phone >mom's friend's daughter comes out of room and sits in living room with me >start making conversation and eventually ask her if she went to the party yesterday >"uh.. yeah. it was my quinceañera.." >mfw my dumbass realized I asked a girl if she went to her own party

Fatal Attraction | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous 2.79 MB GIF Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 11/28/24(Thu)14:11:15 No.79597339 >gf broke up with me because she couldn't keep up with my sex drive is it wrong to want to have sex with your gf 2-3 times a day? 11/28/24(Thu)16:10:14 No.79598408 >>79597339 (OP) >Girlfriend broke up with you because you were attracted to her Sounds about right

Anon Plays Dressup | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 11/28/24(Thu)15:37:06 No.79598116 96 KB JPG >comfy as f--- >high durability >multiple pockets for storagemaxxing >cheap >noooooo, but you look like an incel, and I won't give you sex!!! don't care, I won't be getting sex regardless just take cargopill Anonymous >>79598116 (OP) I'm fat and I wear nothing but these. Ultra comfy and versatile. 11/28/24(Thu)15:39:32 No.79598140

Self Defense is racist, disarm like seen in movies, correctional between intelligence and lack of belief | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)10:19:41 No.927960349 Look man, It doesn't really matter if she had a knife or not, the cop only shot her due to racism and bigotry. Don't you remember having knife fights as kids too? Totally common and normal behavior. Let kids be kids lol. Look, if I was the cop. I would have just disarmed her. Ya know, kinda like how Captain America disarmed the Winter Soldier in the MCU, or how Harry Potter disarmed Voldemort. No need for a fatal shot. MARVEL They/Them #BLM Proud Cuck 1730471152878168.jpg >>927958495 (OP) # 59 KB JPG >there is a correlation between intelligence and lack of belief >unless the belief is in something we promote like gays, n------, trannies, clot shot, global warming, trump being a nazi, etc., in this case you're dumb if you lack belief

It ain’t easy being green | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:33:08 No.859751742 Floorjak.png 126 KB PNG Hey guys, I'm new here. I thought I'd just share a new wojak I made, I call him floorjak. Basically the gimmick is he's a floor, and I've never seen that done before. Please go easy on me, things haven't been going good for me lately. I hope you like it. 4 Replies View Thread

Culture shock | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place

Anon lives in Gotham | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG

PCMR btfo? Maybe not | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/24(Fri)06:46:29 No.694016793 SONY 4K HDR ディスクドライブ搭載 PSS Pro PlayStation 5 Pro A 1730959553168409.jpg 354 KB JPG >PS5 Pro is as strong as RTX 4070 Why don't you buy one. Anonymous 11/08/24(Fri)06:47:02 No.694016817 >very nice, where are the games? 616 KB PNG

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