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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 2

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Anon moves to the wrong neighborhood | /r/Greentext

File: please_do_not_do_that.jpg (8 KB, 202x200) O Anonymous 12/26/15(Sat)17:50:59 No.25266644 Times you witnessed a killing /r9k/? 'll start >moving into a new house >might as well go to meet the neighbours >hope they're not complete assholes >go to the house next door Please do not do that >it's a friendly old man >he sounds German and a little bit Irish >he motions me to come in >l do that, and don't worry much >we get to talking >his name is Hans O'Renn >he's been through a lot of s--- >but he faces every day with a smile >he mentions that he has one son >hasn't seen him in years >last thing he heard, he's involved with gangs >we talk some more and then I leave to talk to the others >the next day >l see a lot of shady looking people pass in front of my house >looks like they're going to see Hans >pretty suspicious >they give him a knock at the door >he lets them in >I listen through the wall our two houses share >"look, son, I haven't done anything to displease you have 1?" >"nah, but ya have to go" >l immediately go out and look through his front window >gang members stepping up to beat him to death >ohshit.jpg >"don't worry boys, 'l handle this" >"but Kyle." says one of them >so that's his name >"seriously, I'll do it" >Kyle takes a baseball bat >the rest is muffled screams and beatings and the sound of death >it's incredibly disturbing >I have to step back because it's so horrifying to watch >tfw Kyle O'Renn kills his father, Hans, solo

Compliments to the Chef | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)18:51:49 No.64748038 I was just threatened to be called the cops on for praising a girl's food >be me >live by myself in a block of flats >can't cook so eat junk food everyday >this 24, 25yo moves next door 6 KB JPG >her food smells DELICIOUS and takes over the entire corridor >eventually I saw her in the elevator and say her food smells really good | >thanks.teehee >next day her food is smelling great again >knock on her door and ask if she could cook for me and I pay her every week >she says she has no time >l say it's the same food she eats, just an extra amount >she gets angry and kinda tells me to f--- off >3 days later I see her in the elevator again >doesn't look at my face >l approach her with the same offer, but she yells at me that she'll call the police if I don't leave her alone what the F--- did I do wrong? I wasn't asking for free food, she would've be paid and it was just a bigger amount of food, for f---- sake

Anon discovers the cure | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG

Anon has an addiction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)13:23:21 No.781184865 >Be me >Live in China >Have a birthday cake addiction >Go to store every week to buy cake >Cashiers start to recognise me >One cashier eventually questions 7 KB JPG why I keep buying birthday cake >Tell him I have lots of kids and they all have birthdays around the same time >Cashier gives me funny look >Confused.jpg >Mfw the one child policy |

Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/29/21(Thu)12:34:43 No.859899343 >be me >borderline alcoholic >try not drink anymore >manage 5 days without alcohol >feels good man >wanna reward myself >reward myself with a drink 29 KB JPG I'm retarded

Some men just want to watch the world burn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Movie idea 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is 20 KB JPG an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

Little Women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)15:44:04 No.64745970 Stats • Page impressions per month: 500,000,000+ • Unique visitors per month: 20,000,000+ • Posts per day: 900,000-1,000,000 Demographic • Age: 18-34 • Gender: -70% male, -30% female • Location: United States (47%), United Kingdom (7%), Canada (6%), Australia (4%), Germany (4%) file.png 6 KB PNG >20 million unique visitors per month >670 thousand per day >30% are female >47% in the US >94,000 18-34 year old American women visit 4chan daily ?????????????? where the f--- are they

Padded room | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)22:25:21 No.64750048 >hang out with girl from work fairly frequently >been through her breaking up with douchebag boyfriend and hear her complain about friends and work all the time 66 KB JPG >have a lot of fun with her, just enjoy her company >start developing feelings >feel like she's keeping me at an arms length >been here before, know it ends in heartbreak for me >still want to pursue why do I do this to myself 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)22:27:58 No.64750071 >>64750048 (OP) # You're whats called an emotional tampon. Stop it. >>64750093 #

Anon listens to Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/16(Thu)00:50:19 No.683894405 ITT- Discuss your first fap I'll start >be me >be 11 or 12 LE ROWLING >listening to Harry Potter audiotapes to help me sleep >Man speaking Hermione's lines in high 37 KB JPG pitched voice >pee pee gets hard >start stroking pee pee >goes on for an entire minute >ecstasy feeling, no ejection though >fall asleep to the sweet sound of a grown ass man imitating a teenage girl 9/11 would fap again

Fortune favors the bold | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)19:38:17 No.64748573 >me >admiring cute coworker girl from afar for months. working up the nerve to even say hi to her >chad coworker >hey anon whos that? >oh idk her name (yes i do and all her socials), shes pretty cute 36 KB JPG though >f--- shes hot. watch this >proceeds to go up to her and talk >shes beaming >i walk away and get back to my station Its our own fault robots

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