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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 13

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D&D Brownies

413531-CosmicBrownies.ipg (195 KB, 800x600) google igdb ■ N Anonymous 11/24/13(Sun)13:00:34 No.28470756 [r] 2-28470782 >-28470790 >Last Nights D&D session >DM decides to reveal that he's actually a bit of an amateur chef >Spends ten minutes puttering around in the kitchen, and we hear the constant churning noise of a blender >Comes back with large mugs filled with a thick, brown liquid > Its my cosmic brownie shake. Just try it. Try it t tastes like sex with an angel >Everyone drains their mugs >Dont worry, there's plenty left! You can drink as much as you want! And, the best part is, its actually really healthy for you! >We start playing, continuing to drink the tasty shakes the entire time >About an hour in, I start to feel funny >One guy dashes off to the bathroom, and a few seconds later we hear him screaming IT'S LIKE SNAKES. IT'S LIKE SNAKES ARE IN MY GUTS AND ARE TEARING APART MY A------." >No one has any idea what he's talking about. >One minute later >Everyone knows what he's talking about. manage to reach one of the three bathrooms >Pain >Agonizing pain >Like my liver is strangling my stomach while my intestines tie themselves into knots >I am s------- and crying and occasionally screaming >Hear screaming coming from outside the window >One guy didn't manage to get into a bathroom >He's screaming and crying and s------- outside in the backyard >Neighbors walk out of their house to see whats going on >Guy in the backyard is pleading with them to kill him >Everyone spends the entire night just s------- and crying I just got back home and I think I lost thirty pounds Gaming food thread? Anonymous 11/24/13(Sun)13:02:47 No.28470782[r]>-28470798>-28470804>-284 [+] Did you get the recipe?

Renaissance Fair

! Anonymous 10/16/16(Sun)01:09:58 No. 708068041 >Me, working hard at ren fair >I'm a random guard >Tis my duty to ha >Get paid well >People running around as pirates doing pirate things rass strangers in the name of the king >Suddenly see hot chick stealing something from a stall Now's my chance >I walk up to her >She knows i know I yell at the top of my lungs >"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM" >She tries to run >l give chase Tackle that bitch to the ground >She yells "R---" >l yell "YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW" >Crowd gathers >Some guy pulls me off of her >He pulls out a knife >Oh f--- He stabs me in the stomach >Knife breaks off my armor >I am f------ invincible >Punch him in the face with metal gauntlet >Pretty sure his face is broken >King arrives >"What the f--- happened here?" > "Sire this woman is stealing i went to appreheno >King checks woman >Finds 500 worth of jewelry >Her and the guy taken away >Get promotion >Head of kings guar >Princess loves me for my heroism >Stop thieves get bitches

Crazy Party

ile: thatsprettygood.ipg (16 KB, 480x360) □ Anonymous 07/3 1 / 1 7 Mon 00: 31: 50 No. 740 6 1 3468 2274061 3927 >>74061 40042274061 4173 2274061 4403 2274061 4526 2274061 4593 >>74061 4638 >>740614639 Story time, /b/ >Be me >Be 17, be in high school >I'm a bit of a beta, and only really have one friend >He likes beta s--- like I do, but he has charisma and good looks >We're picking our courses for senior year, and we both need some art credits >My friend decides to take drama, because it's mostly qt3.14 girls and some gay guys >He convinces me to join him, since he won't know anyone else in the class >Senior year starts >I actually kind of enjoy the drama class and I'm not exactly bad at it, but my friend barely tries and has no talent whatsoever >Our class has 4 or 5 gay dudes, a couple 5-6/10s, and about 10 absolutely gorgeous girls, who are all like 11/10 >My friend spends all the time he can during the class flirting with the 11/10 girls >November rolls around, we start preparing for a play >My friend is still utter trash at drama, and everyone thinks he's probably going to wreck the play if he's given an important role, so the teacher edits the script and adds a part with no speaking lines >He's going to be playing a f------ bush >The gay dudes don't exactly like him and his attitude, but the girls are cool with him >The night of the play rolls around >My friend manages not to f--- up being a bush >Some of the girls decide to throw a party afterwards >Nine of the hot girls are there, and they invite my friend for some reason >They don't invite me, feelsbadman.jpg >Someone brought a bunch of weed and booze to the party >They all get super drunk and stoned and have a f------ >Mfw bush did nine 11's

Explaining Search History

> Anonymous 05/09/17 Tue 17:54:46 No.37645 1571 376453220 >>376453482 >-376451712 >>376451651 > 376451875 >>376451963 >>376452036 >>376452046 >>376452 39 >>376452 65 >>376452209 >>376452315 >>376452339-376452404 >>376452494 >>37645288 File: 1493162882402 ipg (21 KB, 306x306) >376440753 >computer is in grandmas roonm masturbate in the room while she has her back turned sometimes swack off to naruto x sakura p--- on some website and some doujins I found >finish as my grandma tells me its my time to get off and my sisters turn to use the computer >she's a huge naruto weeb, has a crush on sasuke, and watched a ton of AMVs and had a gaia account >get paranoid she'll find my history when she types in the URL bar to watch her AMVs and read her naruto and anime fanfics >call her into another room and explain to her that sometimes I j------- cartoons >ask her what she would think of that and she asks me what do I mean stell her that I e--------- to a picture of sakura on a bench exposing her p---- >show her the pic >she's disgusted and immediately leaves the room >never brings it up again and it's been 15 years later >she's no longer a weeb but she's a man apparently now >sometimes I am left awake at night at the pure cringe of my younger self □ Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)17:56:44 No.376451712 File □ Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)17:58:29 No.376451851 File: sad hackerman.jpg (27 KB, 565x596) (32 KB, 300x900) 2> >>call her into another room and explain to her that sometimes I j------- cartoons anon what the f--- are you doing >call her into another room and explain to her that sometimes I j------- cartoons ANON PLS □ Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)17:58:50 No.376451 875 File: 1487808109305. gif (932 KB, 400x265) □Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)18:00:04 No.376451963 File: 14903884814 (325 KB, 468x484) Holy f--- >call her into another room and explain to her that sometimes I j------- cartoons What the f--- □ Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)18:01:02 No.376452036 Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)18:02:38 No. 376452165 ,-YOURE A FUNNY GUY 376451571 at least the world has one less weaboo for it, you did gods work anon. LL TAKE YOUIL SKELETON LAST That's one for the ages. I had a hearty kek over this. Thanks anon Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)18:04:35 No. 376452315ー376452470 >2376453360 □ Anonymous 05/09/17 (Tue)18: 11:30 No.376452885 ile: tom-delonge-w--.gif (1.53 MB, 370x335) File. Shyamalan%20main jpg (65 KB. 556x316) HOME 5> >she's no longer a weeb but she's a man apparently now >tell her that I e--------- to a picture of sakura on a bench exposing her p---- show her the pic Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)18:03:18 No.376452209 put me in the screencap

4 Barreled Blunderbuss

Anonymous 05/24/15(Sun)18:19:46 No.25929113- > Be 1521 > Plundering with me crew > Yahar png > Hector calls "Git ovar here, eye see somthing ye might be likin > Hobble me way ovar to Hector > "Looky ere > BythelockerofDavy Jones.png > It be a fuhckin' 4 barreled bunderbuss. > Cap'n Chester walks over, wonderin what the fuss be about > Eye patch flies off "GIMME THAT!" > Takes the abomination of a gun away from Hector s Cap'n fiddles with the powder bag s Accidentally pulls all 4 triggers > ScurveydogsFW half the ship was blown off and 4 of the crew were but a

>her penis

File: pepe (3411ipg (9 KB, 229x221) Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:06:46 No.20754496 20754741 20754797 all the boy p---- threads finally get to me >feel compelled to visit a t----- prostitute >find one that isn't full t----- but more trap-like >white, 5ft4, flat t---, cute face etc >immediately notice how much bigger her d--- is than mine >she calls my d--- "cute" and says it's "just right" >when we 69 I can't stop thinking about all those trolls who say traps are gay >with a d--- in my mouth twice the size of mine suddenly these accusations seem legitimate >she stops and asks if I want to change positions >I just lay there with a d--- in my mouth as tears slowly gather in the corner of my eyes >break down and ask her if she thinks I'm gay >she spends the next 20 minutes comforting me and making me feel better >come home having sucked a d--- without even getting off >I've never felt like such a beta f----- in my entire life O Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:15:43 No.20754725 File: 1435410045765.ipg (48 KB, 558x564) Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:27:36 No.20755013 File: 84768467846748874 ipg (70 KB, 1206x723) >when we 69 I can't stop thinking about all those trolls who say traps are gay >l just lay there with a d--- in my mouth as tears slowly gather in the comer of my eyes >break down and ask her if she thinks I'm gay >her d--- Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:43:03 No.20755452 > ease be real O Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:19:12 No.20754797 >still referring to it as "her d---", etc Women don't have penises, OP. You're gay you've broken yourself down. now it's time to build yourself back up O Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:43:58 No.20755480-20755561 File: $35_ipg (14 KB, 299x300) Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:20:27 No. 20754831 >post feminine d--- and boypussy s--- posts all day >mfw someone actually fell for it I'm laughing irl fam all those trolls who say traps are gay They are MEN. They have PENISES. HOW in the F--- could you POSSIBLY THINK THATS STRAIGHT? Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:30:35 No.20755087 File: f----- ipg (30 KB, 367x451) O Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:20:34 No.20754833 File: 1391876299156.ipg (46 KB, 256x320) finally an appropriate way to use this p------------ old reaction image GUILTY tfw you have never done something this h--- or pathetic Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:44:26 No.20755499 Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:29:41 No.20755071 File: 1437427513591 ipg (19 KB, 260x2010 >when we 69 I can't stop thinking about all those trolls who say traps are gay >her d--- It's a sad state of affairs when telling the TRUTH is seen as trolling O Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:44:53 No.20755512 File: 1421435670610.ipg (17 KB, 396x386) >with a d--- in my mouth twice the size of mine suddenly these accusations seem legitimate kek'd at the imagination of you lying there with a d--- in your mouth and suddenly realizing "hm this might actually be kinda gay Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:16:31 No.20754741 File: angry bald space marine ipg (3 KB, 126x123) >her d--- Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:22:48 No.20754893 I have to be cruel here, sorry but you are completely broken. Do not ever fall to peer pressure O Anonymous 07/24/15(Fri)08:23:17 No.2075490420755279 first poem boy, now this today is a good day

Led Zeppelin

ulll AT&T 10:53 AM @ 28% D Board /mu/ - Music ▼ Settings Home >>355744 reminds me >get wisdom teeth removed go home high as s--- get on the computer go to youtube really want to listen to Led Zeppelin( don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up get mad go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours wake up go to delete my browsing history like usually do "loop zoop" searched on youtube 25 times >I thought I was typing in "Led Zeppelin"

This is some Horror movie level of craziness.

similar to the wheelchair bound Ariel, but different I used to not want to post my story on one of these, but now I feel like it would fit in perfectly amongst the others. many ways. I was sending me flying through the windscreen when we crashed. I broke my spine, peis, wrist and had multiple injuries, it took two years of recovery but I'm actually considered walk, though not very well at all, when I walk I have a cane and can only handle about half an hour of walking. my legs are very weak and I find it very painful, so I have a wheelchair that I heavily depend on h nobody died, I was just severely injured. I was 14 years old and sat in the front; my seatbelt failed and came Now, that's enough about me. Who you need to know about is Hee-chan. I met her a year before my accident at school, I had just joined the anime club, I and my friend Jamie (girl) were the youngest there, but I became very close, Hee too though she was odd. After the two years of recovery my life was normal, though I was in a chair, and suddenly my life changed y parents but they straight away gave me half and asked me if they could use the rest to move house with and use to help our family, of course I said yes, whatever they thought e here somehow. She sent me a long winded email at the time, and one part of it described that I didn't need the money I came e didn't expect this much money but I truly do miss being able to walk and dance and swim like a normal person, so l pretty much ignored Hee's email and ignored her too, busy with friends. Hee became insanely 'jealous' of esee air tmendly home an When I came back that summer, retaking my schooling year I had missed and working hard to catch up, my other friends had progressed higher, we still hung out at lunches but took different classes, but we were n over email again she had the nerve t a group, and Hee was still i k me for money, for quite a bit too. I emailed back asking her, what for? And she wanted to use it t. She said sorry t and that she was having money ft roubles 3830 somy saying shed watch anime, d I flipped out at her this time, telling her to never ask down and went back to normal. Our friends made it a weekly thing t , and she said saying she knew I would 'be selfish and say o Jamie's house and we would watch anime, but then, and I don't know when, we went t died My house is laid out so that I have my own area, my room is spacious and wheelchair friendly, on the ground floor, I have my own kitchen comer and bathroom and I've tumed the huge open plan space hvee and well, an open pl was now that we became seiously into cosplay. I always thought I couldn't join in because I wouldn't want to make a character suddenly o now that Hee starte We cosp and she tried t battled it out but I gave up in the end as she posted the ordered outfit on DA without telling me she'd ordered it We had two weeks left until we were s And to explain something else, Hee is quite overweight, not landwhale level but she smells quite bad and has terrible hair that two weeks before she cut terribly short, it just rounded her face out and made her look p there, staying in a hotel and to be fair it was our first time doing such a thing, we were all nervous and excited. I thought it would n but boy was l Dad could give u saying she'd asked and it was fine > She also didn't tell him I was disable and had a wheelchair, though she swore t them, but continued to wear them saying she could get away with it. No, she really couldn't At one point she s > She took from the mini bar so much stuff that it piled up to $218, which I somehow had to pay for because nobody's card was available. She never paid me back, and when I confronted her on that she said I had Aside from her general drama, nothing serious happened, the horror story comes up at the next outing we had, a holiday together. We came back and me and Hee didn't speak at our Jamie's shoulder and saw her say that. Somehow, we remained friends with her and she very forcedly apologised t I the time, and she said to them She's just playing the cripple card being the victim, she's rude to ME more'. I was overlooking to ME mren and rent few months passed and summer came, and idea to chip in and rent a lodge would have a week of geek, or cosplaying and doing some outdoors stuff that I could join in with too, we would rent this house in the woods on part of a family thing. I don't quite know what to call it, it was a holiday spot where you could rent a house and just spend family time there We were getting excited about it when I realised Hee was involved and would also come. I expressed my worries to the group with her issues with me, but they spoke to her and assured me she would behave and were getting ready to go, when some drama I was looking through my bag to double check things were packing Jamie's new car up, and found my bank card gone. I had my suspicions and sneakily went through Hee's purse, and found it. I took it back c smile and still didn't a gay actvist and she is into women but I like yaoi and support it. It was also, I forgot to mention, our hot friend Adam and the only guy were discussing yaoi and if gay people should be able to marry, he supported me and said yes, shutting her quick. came along known him as long as l'd known Jamie, but the other not so well didn't hang out with us purely because of Hee, but I wanted him to come this time so he did when I asked, me and him had a slight thing going on, unmentioned between us though s looking through my bag to doublec bank card gone. I just gave her a huge sarcastic smile and still didn't say anything. and neither did she. Whilst we were driving she a gay activist and she is against it. I'm not into women but I like yaoi and support it. It was also, I forgot to mention, our hot friend Adam and the only guy e were discussing yaoi if gay people should be able t and said yes e didn't hang out with us purely because of Hee, but I wanted him to come this time so he did when I asked, me and him had a slight thing going on, unmentioned between us though chairchan 09/08/11 So we drove there, got there, to this beautiful place with a lake and forest and pretty little houses, but Jamie-who we gave the money to to book it little more into it and booked us a log cabin, which is all one level and would be more wheelchair friendly and nicer. Hee, spoke up saying she hadn't signed u blahblah, she shut up when she saw the beautiful place s saying she had put a p there which Adam had to carry it was chair fiendly and lovely inside, with five bedrooms, one upstairs that Adam had. It even had a Jacuzzi on a forest iew balcony. So tarting for a fabulous week. But no. The first night, I, who was sleeping in a room facing the staircase to Adam's room, woke up and saw Hee just standing at the bottom e and walked away, the next day I wasn't sure if it was a dream or not, and the next night I made sure to look, and caught her stood facing my room, door open, but she saw looking and came in with some excuse to talk, at something-AM in the morning. I realised the other night she had been looking at my room, not the staircase chairchan 09/08/11 So things were creepy at the beginning of the week, and then it got worse. She kept getting up inthe middle of the night pretending to sleep walk into others rooms and stuff, but she doesn't sleep walk and was I told her to cut it out p and a stage of Japanese Taiko drums, and Hee s--- herself and made us organis there Thursday evening, bands were performing and playing well into the night. It was fun and beautiful with that had s lantens hung up in the dark, but the bathrooms were quite a way away and I struggled to use my chair on the ground, all marked up with tire marks, uneven, so I had to walk to the bathrooms. Every time I did brought a friend with me to help me walk, with my cane, and also because it was creepy over there, the bathrooms only had one light and it was far away from the rest of them and pretty empty. I had to go during the performance of some Japanese art and sound thing, and Hee suddenly said she'd take me. She had been getting annoyed at me the whole week and being quite rude, but she took me, walking slightly ahead I had a hunch to turn around and go back then, I felt pain in my lower back when I strain myself to walk to much and I was with somebody I had issues with, in a dimly place of dodgy bathrooms. The bathrooms set a field orientated show, a make shift room with about three stalls in, and dodgy stairs. The lights inside had mostly broken apart from one, so if you shut the door you couldn't see, Jamie had been standing outside with my door open when she took So the door open and suddenly she just comes in and looks at me. I cover myself but she says Aww, you're on your period, that's why...That's really cute' oddly. I close the door and sort myself out in the dark, yelling at her, though she just laughs from the other side. I washed my hands but really felt like I couldn't walk anymore, I how long g the stall door open. S ever with the also yeah, general girl-groupness like person above said, and my friends are nice. We got along to some extent before this happened This is when things escalated, she suddenly said 'Nobody is around to hold me back this time and in front of me broke my cane. She then out of nowhere, I started the argument after she was rude, asking her why she had so much tension and hatred round the face with one half, and threw it behind herself. This was and she just said more insulting things, and when I defended myself, did that. I gasped, I was e with split my lip on the side. I began to cry and ask her why she did that, what was wrong with her etc. She then said she had wanted to kill me since we were friends, like actually k this week. She was a o get away from me, and forc away from her.I s away and cried more y life, and I should have been. I know it was only a fight, but she said she wanted t She also then c pointed them all out, going into sick detail of my life that she obviously noticed, like my relationship with my sister that's strained, she just got into my head. She also stood on my chest whilst she was saying a these things, ending it with 'so that's why I'm better than you' myself away from her in the mud, and she just smirked and laughed at taking a holng things like life. She said I won't kill you but I want you to die, s me tire me t into c o one will ever find you back, I was covered in mud and hurt and couldn't walk at all now that she'd stamped shtat dstdarkness nd threw it were a fair bit away, and I didn't think anyone would hear me. She then left. But it took them a while t She just walked away using her phone as a light and left me there. I was there for at least half an hour, of course my friends especially Jamie didn't believe her and came looking find me in the pitch black, they almost called the police to come and help but I began calling out when I heard Jamie yell for me. I don't know how cold it was but I'd lost a long outside, it was also damp and muddy, I'm pretty sure I was in a puddle or something as my hair was wet, but I couldn't speak up very much, and I was beginning to fall asleep. Somebody later said I was in the I was half asleep suddenly I felt something on me. Spiders, several of them, had crawled over me and gotten in my hair and things covering my mouth. She didn't want them to find me but was faking t e was close behind asking h ben but I began to struggle and make some noise, so she then moved to strangle a just was off her remember her s strangled I don't know, but Jamie thought I was dead at the time, and so did Hee, who was smirking and happy with herself, laughing manically. From details I'm told, Jamie laid me down on a friends coat and tried o resuscitate me before realising I was breathing, just had a low pulse and was very cold. I was coming around by now but couldn't seem t and remember Ann unbuttoned her shirt and pulled me against her chest while we wait I had my eyes open looking at them all stood around me or Hee The next thing I directly remember was being in hospital. Hee had been arrested but actually taken into psychiatric care, unknown to anyone but her family she was a psychopath, she'd tortured small animals, set her room on fire, and had episodes with obsessing over beautiful girls and wanting to kill them, at first it was with pop stars like Britney spears, but then girls at school, her family explained to mine. Hee was really crazy, and though I wouldn't say I was beautiful, she took harassment too far with me, I still don't know how she could think she'd get away with it, but she sort of did as she was mentally unfit, and just got I was fine in the end, I spent a night in hospital getting over the shock and warming up, but I have a huge phobia of several things now, the dark, being alone, creepy crawlies which had been all over Over the last two work out, and tried to kill herself several times. Part of me feels bad for her, her rage and distorted thoughts come from nowhere, she must feel confused all the time. On the other hand though, for trying to kill me leave me to die I hate her, and I'm quite happy she suffers My story by far isnt as bad as the other weeb horrors, it's not as if she severely hurt me apart from slapping me with my cane which left a mark, her strangling didn't do much as she was pulled off me so fast, and I was okay in the end. It's more the fact she was an absolute psychopath with deep mental problems we didn't know about

Cataracts

□ Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:26:44 No.4901415 File: fregg.ipg (23 KB, 446x362) 490 1425224901509>>4901520>>4902454 >>4907640 >tw i used to read in sunlight when i was younger. now i have cataracts. オ have to dictate my posts to my little brother □ Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)14:02:29 No.4902454 490247422490265024902673 4904173 4906512 4901415 4901520 Can you repeat that back to me please"? "Yeah, that's it. Now attach a picture of a sad frog" "...a-a sad frog"? "Just open the folder labeled frog and feels "W-wha... what is this? There are hundreds of them. What are these for"? "Nevermind that. Just look for the one called fregg', that looks like it had a seizure and attach it." "Yes, that's perfect, you can send it now"

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