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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 10

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Anon’s dad smells him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/19(Thu)21:43:46 No.797728278 A little problem I ran into the other night >be me >go on walk after dinner for a quick smoke >forgot to bring any sort of air freshener so I wouldn't stink up the house >Walk in the house still smelling like weed 7 KB PNG >walk upstairs to my room >j------- >finish before dad bursts in my room asking why the house smells like weed >"LET ME SMELL YOUR HANDS ANON." >scent from my weed had by this time been replaced by the smell of my c-- >dad takes one sniff >gags >walks out and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night >mfw

Anon doesn’t realise bananas don’t grow in Ukraine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)01:02:47 No.52379841 >did they secure banan? >no? >send the next wave 260 KB PNG >>52382124 # >>52382160 # >>52385734 # >>52388621 #

Anon’s friend is a cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)20:26:44 No.874372800 >Be me >Two years ago >Friend has his first kid >Friend is white >Baby comes out black with nappy hair >Everyone is uncomfortable as it's 115 KB JPG obvious his wife cheated >People ignore it like king of the hill >He had a barbecue celebrating his first born" >Show up >Autism over 9000 >"Did you overcook that one?" >Punches me in the face Worth it

Anon discovers he is Jewish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous God's Chosen People 03/13/22(Sun)21:57:59 No.67770204 Well folks. I'm afraid it's over for me. A DNA test has revealed the bitter truth--I am Jewish. And it's not just that I have a bit of Jewish DNA. I am considered fully Jewish according to the law of matrilineal descent. Many of my cousins are Jewish and some of my ancestors died in 76 KB PNG the holocaust. The ironic thing is that both my grandma and mother are hardcore Baptists. Now that I know about this part of myself, some things are starting to make sense. I got blondish hair and blue eyes from my dad, but my nose is unironically bigger than it should be. What should I do? I want to stay on 4chan but I completely understand why you guys hate jews. If I must go, I will.

Anon reincarnated as a rice farmer | /r/Greentext

: Schizophrenic You die and wake up 03/13/22(Sun)23:40:48 No.67770006 > You finally die > you wake up >you are on a weird table with a helmet on your head with wires coming out >year is 3077 > 2 guys are standing near you 73 КВ PNG >there's a 3rd guy standing behind a glass with lots of buttons on a panel > you remember you are a spy and got caught and these people are torturing you for information >one of them says "had enough? or you wanna go through that again" >2nd guy says "and this time you'll spawn in a 3rd world country" >tfw you realize that your life wasn't real, it was just torture.

Anon hunts with his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)09:56:59 No.777677271 >be me >around 9 years old >dad loves hunting, wants to take me >I don't like the idea of killing animals, but I don't want my dad to think I'm a little bitch so I reluctantly 33 KB JPG go >set the trap, put some scented food in it >small doe comes up, have my sight lined up, ready to pull the trigger >feel instant regret even before killling the animal >turn to my dad >"Dad, I'm sorry but I really don't want to take this animal's life" >That's okay son, why don't you just keep setting up the traps, you're really good at it >continue to set traps >we do this every couple of months for years, I set the traps, he takes the shots >recently entered a trap setting contest in my local hunter union >won >mfw l'm a master baiter

Anon is poor | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)23:29:52 No.874358845 [Reply] >be broke asf >just eat s----- foods cos its cheap and barely any preparation involved >start getting chest pains >oh s--- >go buy a lettuce and bag of 6 apples from the store >eat them all in one sitting >should be good for another few months anons

Anon gets to fuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/18(Thu)09:27:09 No.766948731 >be me, 14 >sister is 16 >be at home one night, dad is out >sister is wearing bra and panties >boner.jpg >sitting on the couch watching tv >she says she's going to bed, goes to her 28 KB JPG room >dad gets home >dad and I f--- 2 Replies View Thread

MURDER! !! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)23:10:54 No.789475688 >be me >dad likes to pull pranks >has attachment to prank jump scare videos >has scared me every halloween with these 44 KB JPG >occasionally does it post/pre- halloween season >get suspicious every time i see a quiet/unassuming video >get tired of his b------- >fire vs fire.exe >july >tell him the smart tv isn't working >I really just have a black color on screen >he looks at the tv closely, inspecting >press play button on remote >video plays of typical demon girl jumping at the viewer, w/ loud screams, the whole enchilada >laughing, expecting dad to jump >look at him >he's holding his chest, and drops >he seems to writhe for a few seconds >stops moving >he had a heart attack >mfw I f------ killed him

Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/17(Sat)12:38:49 No.41357827 >be 15 a decade ago >invite Chad over to play some xbox >he has to take a piss >pisses directly into the water >his masculinity bounces off the 9 KB PNG walls and echoes throughout the entire house >see sister touching herself in the doorway, biting her lip >hear mom moaning downstairs >sister calls me a stealth pissing fuckboi and asks why I always aim for the ceramic >tfw

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