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You may think your life is bad, but I bet it isn't quite "Bit on the Penis by a venomous spider multiple times" bad

Spider bites Australian man on penis again O 28 September 2016 Australia Share GETTY IMAGES Redback spider bites are relatively common in Australia, with around 2,000 people bitten each year

Spider bites Australian man on penis again O 28 September 2016 Australia Share GETTY IMAGES Redback spider bites are relatively common in Australia, with around 2,000 people bitten each year

australia spider bites australian man on penis again redback spider

Australia is beautiful

Douglus Wong/YouTube Australia is beautiful: See a hawk literally throw a snake at an innocent family sbs.com.au

Douglus Wong/YouTube Australia is beautiful: See a hawk literally throw a snake at an innocent family sbs.com.au

australia hawk snake news article

All right, mates, let them have it!

Uhhh no sir. They re saying Hockey, are they booing me? BOO BOO Are you saving BOO or ab- Boott? BOO BOO BOO was saying ab-BOO..

Uhhh no sir. They re saying Hockey, are they booing me? BOO BOO Are you saving BOO or ab- Boott? BOO BOO BOO was saying ab-BOO..

the simpsons mr.burns burns smithers moleman prime minister tony abbott joe hockey rupert murdoch government

Conservative Australians in a nutshell

Oh yuck, look a wind turbine

Oh yuck, look a wind turbine

australia australians oz coal coal mine wind turbine wind power political satire australian conservative conservatives liberal party tony abbott

Mr. Koala

koala australia

A Matter of Priority I Guess

Dear, Australia Why are you worried about violent video games when you have... ..nine of the twelve most venomous snakes on Earth. ㄋ spiders big enough to eat birds 20 foot long 3000 pound crocodiles... Monitor lizards climbing on houses, and kangaroos humping their dead mates? Surely violent video games aren't that big of an issue, are they? It's a matter of priority I guess...

Dear, Australia Why are you worried about violent video games when you have... ..nine of the twelve most venomous snakes on Earth. ㄋ spiders big enough to eat birds 20 foot long 3000 pound crocodiles... Monitor lizards climbing on houses, and kangaroos humping their dead mates? Surely violent video games aren't that big of an issue, are they? It's a matter of priority I guess...

australia wildlife snakes spiders crocodiles monitor lizard kangaroo violent video games video games

it's true

YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESESCARS?

YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESESCARS?

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Just your average day in Australia

QUESTION: You live in Australia, right? - actressgrl1 ANSWER: alloverthegaf moon-loser alloverthegaf alloverthegaf alloverthega Dad just got swarmed by wasps. Didn't hear them, didn't even see them, but he almost fainted with pain. He was just in the backyard I'm not going in the backyard for a while DAD IS OKAY AND NOT DEAD. Sorry. Probably should have started with that Mum just made me go into the backyard. I ran into a web and spider in my hair F-----' smooth There's a huntsman about the size of my open hand chilling in our bathroom and I keep finding the bodies of smaller ones and today I found one that was alive but missing half of its legs so I'm pretty sure the big one has claimed the bathroom as its teritory and is challenging all trespassers to duels. SPIDER FOLLOWED ME INTO THE SHOWER es fruits SPIDER IS CHALLENGING ME FOR MY OWN BATHROOM alloverthegaf I'm very quickly coming to the conclusion there is a large snake in my bedroom but I don't have a light next to my bed and I sure as hell am not walking to my main light switch so I guess I'll just be lying here and hoping the snake doesn't get cold enough to seek the blankets on my bed tonight alloverthegaf I always laugh at people talking about how cute and cuddly koalas are because here I am at 1:30am listening to the demonic throat growls of koala sex outside my window alloverthegaf Update: hot water is coming out of the cold tap Haha what how does everyone keep guessing that

QUESTION: You live in Australia, right? - actressgrl1 ANSWER: alloverthegaf moon-loser alloverthegaf alloverthegaf alloverthega Dad just got swarmed by wasps. Didn't hear them, didn't even see them, but he almost fainted with pain. He was just in the backyard I'm not going in the backyard for a while DAD IS OKAY AND NOT DEAD. Sorry. Probably should have started with that Mum just made me go into the backyard. I ran into a web and spider in my hair F-----' smooth There's a huntsman about the size of my open hand chilling in our bathroom and I keep finding the bodies of smaller ones and today I found one that was alive but missing half of its legs so I'm pretty sure the big one has claimed the bathroom as its teritory and is challenging all trespassers to duels. SPIDER FOLLOWED ME INTO THE SHOWER es fruits SPIDER IS CHALLENGING ME FOR MY OWN BATHROOM alloverthegaf I'm very quickly coming to the conclusion there is a large snake in my bedroom but I don't have a light next to my bed and I sure as hell am not walking to my main light switch so I guess I'll just be lying here and hoping the snake doesn't get cold enough to seek the blankets on my bed tonight alloverthegaf I always laugh at people talking about how cute and cuddly koalas are because here I am at 1:30am listening to the demonic throat growls of koala sex outside my window alloverthegaf Update: hot water is coming out of the cold tap Haha what how does everyone keep guessing that

australia wasps snakes koalas bathroom tumblr no credit to op

Meanwhile at Don-Mart...

墾1G. BIG BIG BIG. BIG MEMES 3 BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG immydeVS Australia is f----- MEMES MMMMM

墾1G. BIG BIG BIG. BIG MEMES 3 BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG immydeVS Australia is f----- MEMES MMMMM

tumblr memes milk store australia big memes

Just another day.....

Restofthewordswildlife Australian Wildlife Spiders Sopoisonous a bite can kill within40 utes, armored in shining black terror Spiders are already teriffying. The only consulation being the old adage: "They're more afraid of you, than you are of them." But then again we've never heard of a spider who, upon spying a human being, screams like a little girl and runs into the next room to get their boyfriend spider to take you outside like Darth Vaderand damnnear omni present, the Sydney Funnel WebSpider is Australia's answer to the immigration problem. Theyare not more afraid of you;" they're frequentlyknown to charge and bite with no provocation. The Sydney Funnel Web is whatwould hapen if Bruce Willis built a spider and gave it to the Devil as a Christmas present. Octopii Look at that thing; f--- that thing You want to talk Cthulhu? The Blanket Octopus is like Cthulhu mixed with Batman. In addition to the Cloak of Greater Horror up there, the Blanket Octopus hunts prey by tackling Man O' War jellyfish, ripping their poisonous stingers off and using themas venomous chain flails. It even f---- like a horror movie: To mate, it simply fills a tentacle with sperm, rips it off and hands it to the pi are kind of cute in an odd way Octo , but they are pretty alien. It's easy to see how one could be made terrifying. Just look at Cthulhu, for example. They can camouflage themselves, squeeze through the tiniest of spaces, and have double the amount of acceptable limbs to be eligible for 'adorable' status. You could probably make that creepy Earthworms Aw, that s more like it. The friendly Earthworm. Aside from its frequent misůse as a Girl Repellent on playgrounds, there is no way the common Earthworm can be considered frightening Oh, Australia, we should have known you'd find a way. The sickly, unearthly blue, the bulging, slimy mass, and did we mention it glows in the f------ dark? So you can see it writhe at you through the black of night? The only way this could be scarier is if it was three feet long ...which it is Three inches would be enough to give us nightmares, we'd have to practice just to e properly afraid of Australia's version of the Earthworm. Marsupials All right, so an Earthworm could bring back repressed memories of playground assaults or just remind you of a dis embodied penis; we should have seen how it could be made into fear incarnate ut there's no way you can make a marsupial terrifying. The absolute creepiest one the rest of the world has is the possum, and on his best day he's st a goth ferret. A marsupial is a small four-legged mammal with a pouch By design it is adorable. Do your worst Australia No. No way that is a real thing. There is no such thing as a wolf-bear-tiger with pure black shark eyes and the jaws of a snake, Australia. You are making it up. The Thylacine apack-hunting marsupial builtlike a great cat with the ability to open its jaws up to 120 degrees-is unfortunately, all too real. Though it was thought hunted to extinction, recent sightings indicate there mayactually be a fewleft. See, there's areason Australia is awater-locked continent: Geography is trying to protectyou.

Restofthewordswildlife Australian Wildlife Spiders Sopoisonous a bite can kill within40 utes, armored in shining black terror Spiders are already teriffying. The only consulation being the old adage: "They're more afraid of you, than you are of them." But then again we've never heard of a spider who, upon spying a human being, screams like a little girl and runs into the next room to get their boyfriend spider to take you outside like Darth Vaderand damnnear omni present, the Sydney Funnel WebSpider is Australia's answer to the immigration problem. Theyare not more afraid of you;" they're frequentlyknown to charge and bite with no provocation. The Sydney Funnel Web is whatwould hapen if Bruce Willis built a spider and gave it to the Devil as a Christmas present. Octopii Look at that thing; f--- that thing You want to talk Cthulhu? The Blanket Octopus is like Cthulhu mixed with Batman. In addition to the Cloak of Greater Horror up there, the Blanket Octopus hunts prey by tackling Man O' War jellyfish, ripping their poisonous stingers off and using themas venomous chain flails. It even f---- like a horror movie: To mate, it simply fills a tentacle with sperm, rips it off and hands it to the pi are kind of cute in an odd way Octo , but they are pretty alien. It's easy to see how one could be made terrifying. Just look at Cthulhu, for example. They can camouflage themselves, squeeze through the tiniest of spaces, and have double the amount of acceptable limbs to be eligible for 'adorable' status. You could probably make that creepy Earthworms Aw, that s more like it. The friendly Earthworm. Aside from its frequent misůse as a Girl Repellent on playgrounds, there is no way the common Earthworm can be considered frightening Oh, Australia, we should have known you'd find a way. The sickly, unearthly blue, the bulging, slimy mass, and did we mention it glows in the f------ dark? So you can see it writhe at you through the black of night? The only way this could be scarier is if it was three feet long ...which it is Three inches would be enough to give us nightmares, we'd have to practice just to e properly afraid of Australia's version of the Earthworm. Marsupials All right, so an Earthworm could bring back repressed memories of playground assaults or just remind you of a dis embodied penis; we should have seen how it could be made into fear incarnate ut there's no way you can make a marsupial terrifying. The absolute creepiest one the rest of the world has is the possum, and on his best day he's st a goth ferret. A marsupial is a small four-legged mammal with a pouch By design it is adorable. Do your worst Australia No. No way that is a real thing. There is no such thing as a wolf-bear-tiger with pure black shark eyes and the jaws of a snake, Australia. You are making it up. The Thylacine apack-hunting marsupial builtlike a great cat with the ability to open its jaws up to 120 degrees-is unfortunately, all too real. Though it was thought hunted to extinction, recent sightings indicate there mayactually be a fewleft. See, there's areason Australia is awater-locked continent: Geography is trying to protectyou.

everything is trying to kill you